Extroverted?  Then you probably love the limelight… unless you are having a ‘bad hair day’?

But what if you are an Introvert?  Do you feel like shrivelling up when all eyes are on you? Have you had to train yourself to focus on something, or grip something in your hands? The limelight can feel extremely uncomfortable but you know it’s so necessary, or you will never get or keep a client or customer!

But you may possible be an Ambivert (some characteristics of the other)?

I’ve had some friends decide they don’t need to be upfront – their products will speak for them!  And yes, they can!  But you are more than products on a shelf in your garage – because you know you need to communicate what these can DO for your customer?

You know you need to establish rapport to get anywhere – right?

And if you have a service, you definitely need to become engaged with your possible clients?  So how do you get this confidence to be upfront?  I invite you to tick off below those you do regularly – or tick but with a question mark on those you do occasionally only, or just sporadically?


Get to the gym and work on yourself to lose weight and tone?                                    Me:       Tick

Have regular massages to release tight muscles and help you to relax more?

Start detoxing from crap foods, and start eating more fruits & veg?

Drink more water?                                                                                                                        Tick

All valuable, but how consistent are we in keeping up this regime?


Do you prepare yourself with affirmations?

Have you done up a fabulous vision board?

Do you do mirror work?

Have you videotaped yourself to see how you come across?                                                       Tick

YES!  These all help a great deal, if done regularly and not just sporadically!


Do you meditate regularly??                                                                                                       ? Tick

Do you pray and believe?                                                                                                              Tick

Do you read spiritual texts or books?

All admirable! But how often, lovelies?

As you can see, I’m pushing to tick even half of these!

This blog however is not designed to make you, me or any of us feel guilty my friends!  I just wanted to put all this in context…. Because I have learned of another concept that made so much sense to me that I felt I had to pass this on to you…. the real reason/s why we sometimes don’t step up into the LIMELIGHT & therefore our power?

Yes, I KNOW it’s scary, even for an extrovert like me!  Because I fear rejection…. But I discovered it was more than this!  Around 3 years ago I realized the REAL reason I wasn’t stepping up was because I not only was afraid of rejection – but I feared that when I did go ALL OUT, I would find I was only MEDIOCRE!  That I really didn’t have the expertise, the confidence, the charisma, and as a result would come across only as mediocre.  And if that happened – what else could I do?  I only wanted to work with the feminine, and if this was rejected I had nowhere else to go!  And that would be the finish of my business!!  Shock, horror!

But this was all completely unconscious initially on my part – until I was introduced to this concept of a SAFE PROBLEM!

A safe problem is something that we can cope with – sometimes quite familiar – which comes up again and STOPS or SABOTAGES us from really stepping up into our power!  So because I had no concept of this unconscious sense of mediocrity, there always seemed to be another reason –

  • I didn’t have enough knowledge yet (NOT ENOUGHNESS – sound familiar)?
  • That meant I had to do yet another course, or read another book, to get it right first! Then I’d have that confidence to step up
  • But I didn’t have enough in my financial bucket to do such a course!
  • So instead I would do something ‘less than’ I was really capable of, which some women would respond to, so the rejection would not debilitate me – and I would never need to find out that I was actually mediocre in the long run…..

Can you see how SUBTLE this all is?

So understanding the concept of creating a safe problem to sabotage ourselves unconsciously from really stepping up, keeps us small….

And if we continue to have these ‘safe problems’ constantly develop, no number of affirmations, vision boards or even losing weight is going to help us to grow…

It may sound somewhat CONTROVERSIAL but this concept of a ‘safe problem’ I found extremely helpful!  Because then I discovered it wasn’t that I needed to know more, or do yet another course, it was to confront my sense of being mediocre….. that gave me the REAL reason for the sabotage!

I invite you therefore to consider if you yourself might be creating safe problems that you can cope with – they are usually not life-threatening – but that is doing an incredible job at stopping you from stepping up into the limelight – and into your power?  Regardless of whether you are an extrovert or an introvert – or anything in between?

If you want to chat about this, just email me through my website, or call 0403336104.

Beverley Rilatt-Richardson