WHAT STOPS US FROM SUCCEEDING? “SAFE PROBLEMS”!

Do you resonate with this?  You’re creative, and KNOW what you want to achieve – right?  And you’ve planned how you are going to get this done? You’re getting your act together with the tools or equipment you may need – you have your coffee – but then something unforeseen happens, and you can’t go ahead?  Its disappointing of course – but you’ll survive.  In fact, in some cases you can almost feel relieved that you don’t have to go through that stress of getting it off the ground!  That’s the ‘compensation’ you tell yourself when you haven’t been able to do this afterall…..at least you’ll be prepared when you’re out of the woods of whatever hit you that stopped you from proceeding?  And in the meantime you can perhaps get more sleep?!

Or maybe you’re at the point where everything seems to have just gotten on top of you – and you’re sick and tired of being sick and tired?

We can so easily be sidetracked from our intentions by a number of everyday events – ordinary things like suddenly getting sick, or feeling like we don’t quite yet know enough yet to proceed after all?  Mine used to be that I suffered from the ‘fraud syndrome’ – who am I that I can talk about this?  Or that I needed just a little more info – but that course I wanted to do was beyond me economically at that time!  It might be something that life can throw us – like relatives suddenly wanting to come and stay, and we have our doubts, but just don’t know how to say ‘no’, so our boundaries may need strengthening?  Or that we’re suddenly urged to join the church choir, or need to take our kids to soccer? Or we just take on too much, get too busy and suddenly feel overwhelmed?  Are you getting the picture?  We’re stopped from proceeding by ordinary everyday events over which we feel we don’t have much control?  Just reflect for a moment – has this ever happened to you in the past?  How often?

The reason I ask is because there just may be a pattern that has developed that’s stopping you from succeeding, especially with your business? And it’s subtle my friends!  It’s called the ‘safe problem’ syndrome…… We are afraid of stepping up – and yes, it’s completely unconscious on our part.  We tell ourselves that we truly want to do X or Y, and we do!  However lurking in the background, on that unconscious level, may be the fear of failing, insecurity about how to proceed, anxiety about the effect on our health or our family, or even concern in case we really succeed and would then be overwhelmed!

What do you believe may be stopping you from stepping up?  When I first became aware of this ‘safe problem’ syndrome, it challenged me to really consider what might have been stopping me from ‘going all out’ and finally succeeding?  And fortunately, my higher self actually helped me to understand my own ‘dynamics’…. because it suddenly dawned on me that if I REALLY went all out – with a no holds barred, nothing can stop me now mentality – I might find I was, in reality, only MEDIOCRE after all…. And if I was only mediocre, people would NOT follow me, and I would NOT be successful – and I would have to STOP DOING MY BUSINESS!  And if I stopped doing my business, what else could I do because this was my passion?!  And I was too old to start retraining in doing anything else!  Whooooah – there’s a lot of unconscious insecurity riding there!  But if I couldn’t step up because something came along as my ‘safe enough’ problem to stop me, then I could still maintain this fantasy that one day my day would come!  Can you see how subtle this is?

As a result, I would get sick or feel overwhelmed, or just have ‘too much on my plate’ to do that additional thing which might have actually made the difference!  And it was all driven by this unconscious fear of simply being mediocre!  So what did I do about this?  I went onto FB live immediately when I realized what had been happening for me and told the world of this unconscious fear I had of being just mediocre if I really stepped up – and bless them my colleagues came back with reassurances like you don’t have a mediocre bone in your body, Beverley!  All very reassuring, but it was only when I faced my fear and called its bluff that better things started to happen for me!

So put aside a little time when you can be quiet… sit in the sun, or if at night, light a candle, and reflect.  What is it that you may be unconsciously not yet aware of that needs to be faced and its bluff called?  And what safe problems have you had in the past which may have stopped you from facing this fear? Do they seem to come up again and again?  Is there any pattern here?  Call its bluff!  You will be amazed at the difference this can make in your life and ongoing success!  And if you’d like to ‘chew the cud’ with me about this, just PM me.

Leave a Reply