Has anyone ever told you that ‘you are your own worst enemy? I’ve certainly thought this at times about myself, even if my friends are too polite to tell me! And to be brutally honest, I’ve considered this about other colleagues, too – even if I didn’t have the courage to tell them.
So what exactly does it mean to SABOTAGE? My dictionary definition tells me: ‘to deliberately destroy, damage or obstruct something’ …
I certainly got to really understand this word when I was a participant in Australia’s first reality Television Show in 2000 (Channel 7’s ‘The Mole’)! I was definitely NOT the mole, whose job it was to sabotage every team effort surreptitiously, in order to frustrate the amount of money that went into the collective pot for the eventual winner. We had no idea therefore who this team member was, and had to work this out, or leave the show!
OK if sabotaging means to deliberately destroy, damage, or obstruct, why on earth would you do this to yourself? Especially when you had set up steps to success in the first place? Why do you think this might happen?
Self-sabotage is really a more destructive form of procrastination – either way, we frustrate ourselves from getting the job done! But why? Because there is absolutely no doubt that self-sabotage erodes both your self-confidence and self-esteem, leading to the kind of self-defeating behaviours which can badly affect your business, career, or relationships. And it gets worse – with every failed attempt to do the thing you want, you ‘prove’ to yourself that you can’t or maybe shouldn’t do this? Let’s nip this in the bud, lovelies, and disarm this ‘inner saboteur’!
- Recognise self-sabotaging behaviours, which could include bad habits that stop you from succeeding? (One of mine in the past was being so untidy I couldn’t find something important at the last minute – a report, or schedule I’d worked on before the meeting, so I not only got frustrated, but it sabotaged something from happening).
- Are you feeling anxious, angry, or worthless about achieving what you set out to do? Then understand your emotions or they will run you.
- Confront negative or critical thoughts as soon as you become aware of them… My friend and colleague @Sue Lester, of www.suelester.com, has a saying I just love – if this inner saboteur wants to start ruining your self-esteem or confidence, then simply ditch the bitch’! If you seriously need help with getting rid of ‘head trash’, then she can be of profound help! Just contact her on Facebook.
- Have the courage to make that change to realign your thoughts and feelings to what you really do want in your life…
- Finally, develop self-supporting behaviours such as a confident mindset, and language that builds you up. This can also include a supportive group – your family or special colleagues. However, you are also welcome to check out our ‘Feminine Tribe’ that meets monthly at Womenspace, Sandgate, to provide empowering education and support through our Women’s Divine Feminine Circle. Our next event is on my website: ‘The Power is in your Hands’ on Mon 25 April, 7-9 pm so check this out!